LAST EDITED ON Dec-03-09 AT 07:53 PM (Pacific)(I thought of the first line, and just had to do the whole thing)
Twas the night before Wizardry and all through the monastery
Not a creature was stirring, not even a pestilent rat
The rotting corpse was hung by the graveyard with care
In hopes that some holy water soon would be there
The spiders were nestled all snug in their webs
While visions of unwary adventurers danced in their heads
And Vi in her War Bikini and Myles in a Feathered Cap
Were sneaking in the bank to pick locks and divine trap
When out in the Wilds there arose such a clatter
I cast Return to Portal to see what was the matter
Up walked a Golem so I cast Blinding Flash
Then our Samurai with Katana tore him a bloody gash
Flaunting her breasts like some cheap ho
Al-Sedexus made us an offer, we just couldn't say no
When what to our X-ray eyes should appear
But eight tiny red dots and a flask of beer (oops, sorry, that was ale - but it didn't rhyme)
With our nimble Rogue, so lively and quick
There isn't a pocket we can't pick (well, before the patch that is
More rapid than eagles, level 10 we became
And we whistled and shouted, "Oh, what a game!"
Now Gamespot! Not Slashdot! Our bandwidth is slippin'
Oh come on now, if we run out what would you be missin'
To Ascension Peak! To the Cosmic Circle!
Now what in the hell rhymes with circle :?
As dry leaves before our Whirlwind fly
When we meet any obstacle, it is sure to die (ok, so it took 12 reloads, but it died, that is the important part)
And up in the treetops of Trynton we knew
The Rattkin were there and Barlone too
And then on the board I heard someone goofed
And in the next toxic cloud, there was the proof
As we drew in our breath we started to turn green
This is the worst toxic cloud we have ever seen (aside from the "bean scene" in Blazing Saddles)
Though we are dressed in leather from head to foot
We'd all be in plate mail if we just had more loot
A bundle of goodies we share in our party pack
Though it is a bit cumbersome to access, when we attack
The golems eyes how they twinkle! Though they are very scary!
But they soon fall apart, when we toss them a cherry (bomb)
Our Ranger is quite plucky, just like his Elven Bow
Always some smart-ass remark, followed closely by a Shrike Arrow
Raven's bloody stump we held for a while
Funny how his face was stuck in a smile
Like a glutinous glob that is just way too smelly
After you kill a Slime what do you do with the jelly?
Our rogue is another jolly old elf
Who loves nothing more than to steal from Antone's shelf
He wants a Djiin's eye from out of its head
I suppose to make some weapon or really nasty bread
Those Higardi patrols keep straight to their work
If you go to Arnika, don't act like a jerk
And laying a finger aside of his staff
The savant henchmen is gone in a flash
When we see the cosmic circle, we let out a whistle
To think we started out as weak as the down of a thistle
And we heard the Dark Savant exclaim as we came into sight
Put down that pen, or it'll be one hell of a fight!
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